We’re a little over a month back on American soil, and I don’t think my heart and head have come to a peace with everything seen, felt, and experienced. But if I’m being honest, I am not sure that it ever will. My prayer is this: that the Lord will continue the stirring and fanning of the flame that He sparked in so many on our trip.
Our trip was incredible… hard to put into words (so bear with me). Masindi, Uganda is a beautiful suburb full of life, full of radiance, and full of beautiful people including the 200 children at Family Spirit. Upon entering the blue gates, kids are lining the drive waiting for your arrival, and let me tell you, you have never seen more JOY when stepping out of the van. Our 6 days at Family Spirit included concrete mixing, grass planting, cleaning, new mattresses, VBS, soccer, dance parties, and a whole lot of lovin’. We swept, mopped, cleaned, and replaced every single mattress and mosquito net in the boys’ and girls’ dorms. PURE JOY. We helped sweet Joann wash 200 bowls and cups for breakfast and lunch each day, and her face lit up every time someone walked towards her to help. PURE JOY. We helped feed kids rice, beans, chicken, avocados, and bananas. PURE JOY.
Before this trip, I questioned my usefulness on the trip. I questioned what good a 20-year-old American girl could do. I questioned if these kids really needed me… needed a team of 23 with iPhones, cameras, and all our “stuff”. Like God often does, He quickly spoke to that. “Of course they don’t need you. They don’t need your broken self. They need ME.” Talk about humbling. Of course they don’t need me; they need JESUS. Yes, they need food, water, and medicine, but they need the sustainer of life. They need to be shown what a glorious Father they have and the inheritance waiting for them if they know Him.
So now I wrestle with God. I wrestle with the idea that I have grown up with 2 loving, Godly parents and given anything I need. I wrestle with the fact that most of these kids will never know their earthly parents, and some will never know their Heavenly Father. Acts 14:3 says, “So they remained for a long time, speaking boldly for the Lord, who bore witness to the word of his grace, granting signs and wonders to be done by their hands.” God wants us to not be okay. He wants us to feel a stirring and for our hearts to be broken like His. And He wants us to take action on that. We are commanded to speak BOLDLY and CONFIDENTLY in the name of Jesus. Whatever that stirring is or whatever is producing that “not okay” feeling, take action. Be the hands and feet of Jesus and allow others to not see you but to see HIM.